no matter how many times i have told myself, "STOP! not crying anymore..ENOUGH!!" but tears are still rolling down my cheeks..out of my control..days and nights..days and nights..i miss you a lot..i cant imagine you are going back soon and this time i dont even have a chance to meet you..i dont know if you ever know that you are so important to me..not just a friend, but someone i can really talk to, someone i can really share everything single feeling with, someone who i think it is worth for me to sacrifice so much for, someone who i feel is the one who wont leave me alone no matter what......
i have seen friends leaving and passing by my side...on and off, on and off..i have been feeling so disappointed to some of them..i can do anything within my will for them, which they wont but not they cant...it makes me feel hopeless to put any effort on friendship anymore..but only "you" and "you", who give me motivation to maintain this friendship..
now, you are leaving again, very very soon..i know i shouldnt feel hopelesss; i shouldnt feel sad; i shouldnt feel apart..but your uncertainty of coming back, just make me non-stop having those kind of feelings..i dont know, i cant imagine when will be the next time meeting you again..will that be forever? NO!! i hope the answer is NO!! NEVER EVER!! this is what i cant afford to think of!!!
many many friends have told me i still can skype with you if i want, i still can see you through skype, but for me the feel is just so different..
i wish i can see you face to face; i wish i can give you a big big hug; i wish i am the one standing beside you, taking photos with you; i wish i still can help you massage your wrist when you are tired; i wish i can talk to you through phone for hours; i wish i can hang out with you walking pass all the streets; i wish i wish....
all these wishes look so distant from me..when will they be achieved? 2 years time? 3 years time? or even longer? i wonder...
"有离才有聚"? what a good phrase that i can tell you when i am wondering if i can do it..what a funny case..HAHAHA..but other than this, what can i do? i dont know.....
i really really miss you a lot!! i really really wish i can study with you!! i am really sorry for breaking my promise...really really sorry that i cant do it...i never never want to break my promise, trust me!!!
what i can say now, is TAKE CARE!
no matter where you are, please do take care yourself...
wish the next time i see you, you will be prettier, grow a bit fatter =), and be the happy one!
i will always be the one beside you no matter what..
you will never be alone, just like what you have been telling me :)
p.s. i dont know if this kind of feeling, this kind of friendship make you feel stressed, but i just want to let you know that i really really appreciate it a lot!!
shuying, i miss "you" too..
